Anyway, I had a crush on Sam.  He was older, had a girlfriend, and you can be more than sure that he was not at all interested in me.  He suffered my presence.  But I was convinced that he would fall in love with me and we would be married.  CONVINCED.  In a very creepy way.  I journaled about him.  I wrote him letters I never gave him.  I planned my walking schedule to each class based on where I might see him.  I was a creepy, creepy 6th grader.

The fact that Sam did not love me back was heartbreaking to me.  I neglected my personal appearance (as if it could be more neglected).  I refused to brush my hair.  I walked the halls in a coma, drawing on the walls with my finger.  I kept my head down, looking at my Birkenstocks wondering what I could do to make Sam love me.  I mean, life got weird.

During this time of introspection, I attended a Math and Science Meet for 6th graders.  This is laughable to most, because it for sure took me four tries to pass Algebra 099 in college.  How I got signed up for this trip, I have no idea.  Either way, the trip insured that we would get to eat at either McDonald’s or Pizza Hut.  I was (and still am) a fast food guilty pleasurer, so as the prospect of McDonald’s was, quite frankly, too good of a deal to pass up.  My friends, who had every right to be on this trip, chose Pizza Hut.  Just another in the long line of poor decisions I would make during the course of my young life.

I wore a large coat, more than likely my father’s, and started out to Mickey Dee’s.  I’m sure I purchased a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal (including Dr. Pepper), because that is the only thing I ever get at McDonald’s.  I started back, planning to meet my friends at Pizza Hut and eat with them.  It was cold.  I had on denim shorts and a huge jacket.  I had poor posture, which is to say, Quasimodo taught me how to sit in a chair.  As I schlumped past the Pizza Hut, readying myself to cross the street, I was oblivious to the compassionate stares of my friends as they surveyed me walking towards Pizza Hut.  I was later told that the conversation went something like this:

Meaghan: Oh my gosh.  Is that a homeless person?

Jennifer: Oh my gosh.

Terra: Yeah.

Jennifer: Should we give him some food.

Terra: I think he’s got a McDonald’s bag.

Meaghan: Oh yeah.  I see it now.

Jennifer: Wait, he’s coming in here.

Erin: Hey guys.

Terra: Holy crap.  We thought you were a homeless guy.

Meaghan: We almost gave you pizza.

*****

This has been installment 1 of “Awkward Stories from My Childhood.”

A couple of things have happened since I stopped blogging. Camp happened and it went ok. Ben’s feet are worthless due to a minor fall at the rock climbing gym. We’re still having a child. We started childbirth classes, and they are everything you hoped they’d be. We are getting settled in our little townhouse. Blah blah blah.

But here’s what I want to blog about: UP. The Ben and I love a Pixar movie. They are all quality, all the time. We watched Cars on our honeymoon and since there is usually a new Pixar movie coming out on our anniversary, we go and see it on that day, celebrating that we have not, in fact, murdered one another for yet another year.

I was not really all that jazzed about UP. The previews were sort of vague, so I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. And about two minutes into UP, I realized what Brad and the gang was about to do to me. And I began weeping and did not stop until after the credits. I don’t want to ruin anything for anyone, but my recommendation is to see UP. Even if you hate things like balloons and puppies and chubby little Boy Scout-esque characters, you should see this movie, if only for the release of emotion you will have when you inevitably bawl your eyes out. And you will, my friend.

I spent the past week recuperating from the past couple of months and stayed at home, unpacking boxes that were yet to be unpacked, washing the blinds (this is a major chore when it appears that the previous owner has systematically rolled a glue stick over each and every slat, then thrown dirt at them repeatedly every day for four years or something), organizing things, etc. I planted some flowers that are not doing so great. We had a little family painting party this week, and got the first coat of paint on Holland’s room. Making things happen. It’s been great, but I am ready to head back to work. It was a nice little staycation.

Don’t fret. I’m back. I won’t leave you for so long ever again. Probably.

I love Robert Duvall. I love him. He’s definitely up there for me. The dude studied with Meisner, was named most versatile actor by the Guiness World Book of Records (how they measured that, I don’t know), and he’s had a role in more AFI Top 100 Greatest Movies than any other actor. Plus, he’s just awesome. No, he rules. Looking at his resume on IMDB, however, there are lots of movies Bobby has been in that I’ve never seen. Tomorrow, The Great Santini, Days of Thunder, etc. So, my new goal is to watch (or re-watch) all of Bobby’s movies.

I start tonight with whatever is on Netflix Instant. Sling Blade it is.

I think my favorite quote is: “If it does not disclose [the fact that aliens are real], by the end of May — this is not a threat or anything, you don’t threaten the United States government, they’re heavily armed … the PRG has an enormous and substantial network, and quite a bit of documentary evidence connected to this, particularly politically … and we are going to be extensively putting that out to the media, and we’re just going to make it as difficult on them as possible.”

On another note, here are some things I really like right now:

Publix: Dear Publix, you are a grocery store, and yet, I feel like we are friends. You are a pleasure. I have never had a bad experience with you. You are so clean. You are so friendly. You make delicious sandwiches. I went to Wal-Mart the other day and I felt like I was at the circus. The dirty, creepy circus. It’s the little things, you know? And Publix, you make it happen for me.

McDonald’s Chicken Biscuit: I don’t care WHAT anyone says. It’s not because I’m pregnant, and it’s not because I’m crazy. That McDonald’s chicken biscuit is FAR superior to Chik-Fil-A. I know, I feel dirty saying it. But it’s true. If you haven’t tried it, might I suggest you do so? It’s so buttery, and so satisfying. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Smells: Everyone smells so good lately. I don’t know if it’s me or you, but thanks. You all smell delectable.

Taking Ashton Kutcher off my twitter feed: Really, he’s the most annoying tweeter ever. That might be the most obnoxious sentence I’ve ever written.

2nd Trimester: Hey-oh!

New House: It’s not really mine, and it smells oddly like corn chips. But I love that I can paint the walls.

LOST: I mean, I feel so obsessed with this show, like something might be wrong with me. I feel giddy just thinking about it. Jenny at work introduced me to dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com, Jorge Garcia (Hurley)’s blog. LOVE. Also, Michael Emerson (Benjamin Linus) was on Jimmy Fallon and was/is completely awesome. Check it out:

New Harry Potter Trailer: This is the first time I’ve been excited about a HP movie. Usually, it’s like…eh, ok. I’ll go. But you WON’T be as good as the book, and that’s just something I’ll have to deal with. But THIS:

2) My darling friend (the Darce-Meister, over at Life at the White House) tagged me in her old school photo postings. I usually hate these tag things, but I’ve got some real gems to share with you, so I thought, what the heck? It’s possible that you’ve seen these before, as Sarah Mac occasionally uses one of them as her profile pic on Facebook.

So. Without further ado…

This little nugget of joy was 6th grade. You can clearly see I did my hair myself. It must have been hard for my mother to let go of that particular grooming aspect. And the shirt…well, I wanted that shirt so bad. I called it my “poet shirt” and I’m pretty sure it made me feel real artsy. Actually, all it accomplished was making my upper torso look about the width of the Vietnam War Memorial. I sometimes (ONLY ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS) paired it with a lovely velvet vest, a choker, and a black velvet broomstick skirt. Apparently I was channeling an extremely awkward Stevie Nicks. But look at that confident smile! I knew I was lookin’ good in my poet shirt.

And here’s a bonus photo:

Taken in 6th grade (it was a rough year for me) in Sunday School. You see, I had a penchant for vests. And I dressed like a very unkempt 2nd grade teacher from 1995. The glasses and the uncomfortable expression are what make this picture for me. It says pretty much everything about me in 6th grade.

And here’s a recent picture, just so you can see that you too, can win friends and influence people, even if you have the bang-curling abilities of a swamp rat.

3) I’ve been cheating on Blogger. I’m sorry, Blogger. Wordpress is just so awesome. I’m probably gonna make the switch. We’ll see…

2. Actually got stuff done at work today. If you work where I work, you know that this is a rare miracle. I didn’t get it ALL done and I’m still behind, but there is carpet where there was once just a lot of stuff on the floor.

3. I think…not sure…but I think we bought a house today. Someone was really desperate to get rid of a house and we just got lucky that we picked them. I don’t know about the buying a house process very much, but the word is that we sort of got one. Pictures coming soon.

4. Donald Miller totally replied to my tweet today. And my lack of twitter knowledge enabled my famous uncle to call some of his fans “nutzoids” on his twitter. Unfortunate, but entertaining.

5. Please go here and delight in the letter that Ruth received.

6. I have the day off on Thursday. I will be working, but not at the office, which is such a wondrous treat. I’m going to spend the day on my in-laws screen porch, writing until my hands fall off and eating frozen grapes. This is my dream.

But anyway, I’ll be 26 next month and today I found my birthday present. Thanks to my friend Aby. I saw this on her blog and my body immediately said, “GIMME!” in a ravenous, sleep-deprived voice.

It’s called a Snoogle, and by the looks of this lady, it’s the real deal. Look how happy she is. She’s sleeping so soundly. She’s got her nice pj’s on and it looks like she’s having a really great dream about doughnuts.

I told Ben I wanted one. I can’t wait. I can’t wait for my Snoogle to get here. I’ll update you regarding it’s complete and total awesomeness.