IT TOTALLY IS.  Both plots are based essentially around keeping an empire from falling apart.  On Downton, it’s maintaining the Abbey and the Grantham fortune.  On FNL, it’s maintaining the Panthers/Lions.  But let’s look at a breakdown of characters, because that’s really where the money is.  Oh yeah, this has spoilers, so if you’re not caught up and you keep reading, I don’t know how to help you.

Coach Taylor // Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham – Heads of the family, heads of the estate/football dynasty, these guys are ALMOST perfect.  And while Eric Taylor would never kiss a stupid maid (TWICE!) while Tammy was dying of the Spanish flu, he did have his moments of non-marital imperfection.  They both have a couched temper, but are basically men of honor with ironclad virtues.  EXCEPT THAT ONE TIME LORD GRANTHAM MADE OUT WITH THE STUPID MAID WHILE HIS WIFE WAS DYING OF THE SPANISH FLU.

Tami Taylor // Violet, Dowager Countess – Both these sassy ladies are never afraid to speak their minds (OBVIOUSLY), and can always come back with just the perfect remark.  And the Dowager would absolutely rock some aviators if she hadn’t been born before COLUMBUS SAILED AWAY.  Actually the Dowager is to hats & pimp canes what Tami Taylor is to aviators, so…done.  The Dowager also takes a special interest in several less-fortunate cast members (i.e.: trying to keep Molesley and William out of the war, forcing the vicar’s hand to marry Daisy & William), just like Tami did with Epic.  They are both the glue that holds their respective families together, and while some might think that Cora is Tami’s counterpart, I just don’t think she’s got the cojones that Tami does (although they WERE both late-in-life mothers).  You’re welcome to disagree in the comments, because I love a good fight about fictional characters.

Julie Taylor // Lady Mary Crawley – It is a KNOWN fact that Julie Taylor is the absolute worst.  She’s spoiled, she doesn’t deserve to have the parents that she has, and she CERTAINLY doesn’t deserve Matt Saracen.  Wipe that disgusted look off your face, Julie.  Look around you!  Your life is wonderful!  Ugh, you’re such a brat.  Mary Crawley is the same.  Spoiled, doesn’t deserve her parents, and most assuredly doesn’t deserve Matthew Crawley (although DEAR LORD, they are beautiful together).  Furthermore, Mary had an illicit affair with Mr. Pamuk, and Julie had an affair with Creepy Married Teacher Guy.  Sadly, Mr. Pamuk was basically the most gorgeous person ever to walk on this planet, and he died.  We only wish Creepy Married Teacher Guy met the same fate.  And let’s be honest, Julie Taylor is a poor man’s Mary Crawley.  She is no where near capable of the coldness that Mary can muster with a look.  Probably because she’s the absolute worst.

Jason Street // John Bates – Sure, there’s the obvious: they are both handicapped.  But Street is Coach’s QB1, and Bates is Lord Grantham’s number one valet, which is kind of the same thing.  Both had to “go away” to “deal” with a “lady,” but we’re assuming that Street didn’t inadvertently cause his baby mama to commit suicide (or something else) by consuming rat poison.

Matt Saracen // Matthew Crawley – One, names are the same.  DO NOT MISS IT.  Two, both were thrust into the spotlight, which they never asked for.  Example: Matt’s face when Coach tells him to get into the game after Street has been hit vs. Matthew’s face when he reads the letter from Lord Grantham, informing him that he is the new heir.  SAME FACE.  Three, both in love with girls we love to despise.  WHY do they love these girls?  What is there to love about Julie if you aren’t related to her?  Because you saw her dancing that one time?  And no one even related to Mary likes her much.  Four, both look AMAZING in a suit.  You can’t make that up, guys.  It is what it is.

Buddy Garrity // Isobel Crawley – Have you ever seen such meddling?  If there was a Rippen Boosters, don’t you know Cousin Isobel would be heading that mess up?  And trying to figure out how to get a Jumbotron in the stadium?  Showing off her deceased husband’s championship ring?  And Lord knows if Buddy Garrity had his way, Downton would be a training facility for the East Dillon Lions, where Lady Edith was the jock strap washer.

Tim Riggins // Lady Sybil Crawley – They are both EARTH-SHATTERINGLY hot.  LOOK at these two people.  Are you kidding?  Riggins and Sybil want to do things their way.  They want to VOTE!  They want to wear PANTS!  They want to skip practice and DRINK BEER!  They want to marry the CHAUFFER.  They want to save BILLY FROM PRISON.  And you can’t stop them, because they are Crawggins, and they will not be moved. If you try, they will destroy you with their hotness.

Landry // Lady Edith Crawley – Poor Landry.  Poor Edith.  Overlooked Landry/Edith.  They each had their one moment in the sun (Landry made out/went out with TYRA [that's a joke, right?] and Lady Edith went on car rides with the Fat, Old Guy Who Really Likes His Car), but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  For Landry, being the murderer of Tyra’s attacker proved to drive them apart, while Edith’s letter to the Turkish embassy implored Mary to casually destroy her impending engagement the The Fat, Old Guy Who Really Likes His Car.  AND, Landry had a crush on that one girl, who turned out to be a lesbian, which is almost the same as Edith having a crush on that one guy who didn’t have a face and may or may not have been her cousin.  Also, Crucifictorious is to Landry as driving the car and working as a farm hand is to Edith: cries for attention from the overlooked ones.

Tyra // O’Brien – Ladies of “candor” with a heart of gold.  They both also have AMAZING hair.  Have you seen Tyra’s hair?  It’s unreal.  So healthy.  And have you seen O’Brien’s sideburns?  SO HEALTHY.

Becky // Daisy – It’s another known fact that Becky was one of the worst FNL characters.  Do you even remember Becky?  Do you hear a dull hum in your ears when I say her name?  That’s the sound of her whining you to death.  Becky is perfect scullery maid material (isn’t being in pageants basically the same thing as being a scullery maid?), which makes her Daisy’s counterpart.  Because, how much can you whine about something?  I initially liked Daisy, and then the whining began.  So SAD that you made the last of William’s life BEARABLE as he was DYING, you unpatriotic waste of kitchen space.

Lyla Garrity // Lavinia Swire – Lavinia is alright.  She’s ok.  But were you sad to see her die?  No…probably NOT.  And were you SAD when Lyla went to college or whatever?  No.  Both are daddy’s girls (Lavinia’s mom died & Lyla sided with her dad during her parents divorce).  But, the real peg is Lavinia’s statement after she caught Mary and Matthew kissing during the Spanish Flu outbreak (why is everyone kissing while people are dying?), I don’t want to be a nuisance.  Well you are.  So go to Vanderbilt or die of Spanish Flu (INCREDIBLY UNEXPECTEDLY), why don’t you?  Because Matthew needs to go buy his own piece of Texas and Riggins is in love with Mary, and you’re just IN THE WAY.

BONUS PAIRINGS:

Smash // Thomas – Arrogant and both prone to illegal activities (steroids and black market rations).

Ethel’s Baby // Billy & Mindy’s Kid – They’re just babies, so…

Jess // Anna – Sweet, beautiful, and willing to support their man no matter if he killed his first wife or happens to have a massive anger problem, which could potentially kick them off the team/put them in jail for first degree murder.  Both equally severe moral dilemmas.

Luke Cafferty // William – Grew up on farms, went into the military, both loved girls that didn’t love them back as much as they wanted.  Although Luke lacks William’s strange, though not entirely off-putting Joker smile.

Mindy Riggins // Mrs. Patmore – Mindy: redeemed by Billy Riggins from the Landing Strip.  Mrs. Patmore: redeemed from a life of blindness by Lord Grantham.

FNL Theme Song // Mrs. Hughes - Just like an old friend, Mr. WG Snuffy Walden’s Friday Night Lights theme music welcomes us to Dillon at the beginning of each episode. It’s a theme you don’t skip through. Nor would you skip through Downton Abbey under the watchful eye of Mrs. Hughes. Mrs. Hughes welcomes us to Downton but don’t mess with her. She can see and hear the happenings around the entire estate so don’t tread on her. But if you happen to get pregnant by a new character (i.e. Major Bryant or Luke Cafferty) both Mrs Hughes and the FNL Theme will comfort you and transition you to setting up a meeting with Tami Taylor or Major Bryant’s emotionally-stunted father.

Mr. Pamuk // Tyra’s Attacker – Died for lust.  Read your BIBLE, kids.  People die if they have pre-marital sex (or attempt to).

VooDoo // Mrs. Bates - Just coming in and stirring up trouble.

Gracie Bell // Molesley – FIVEHEADS.

Our thesis is lock tight.  Who are we missing?  Who did we get wrong?  Don’t even think about it being Cora/Tami/Violet.  I’m right and I won’t be moved.

Anyway, I had a crush on Sam.  He was older, had a girlfriend, and you can be more than sure that he was not at all interested in me.  He suffered my presence.  But I was convinced that he would fall in love with me and we would be married.  CONVINCED.  In a very creepy way.  I journaled about him.  I wrote him letters I never gave him.  I planned my walking schedule to each class based on where I might see him.  I was a creepy, creepy 6th grader.

The fact that Sam did not love me back was heartbreaking to me.  I neglected my personal appearance (as if it could be more neglected).  I refused to brush my hair.  I walked the halls in a coma, drawing on the walls with my finger.  I kept my head down, looking at my Birkenstocks wondering what I could do to make Sam love me.  I mean, life got weird.

During this time of introspection, I attended a Math and Science Meet for 6th graders.  This is laughable to most, because it for sure took me four tries to pass Algebra 099 in college.  How I got signed up for this trip, I have no idea.  Either way, the trip insured that we would get to eat at either McDonald’s or Pizza Hut.  I was (and still am) a fast food guilty pleasurer, so as the prospect of McDonald’s was, quite frankly, too good of a deal to pass up.  My friends, who had every right to be on this trip, chose Pizza Hut.  Just another in the long line of poor decisions I would make during the course of my young life.

I wore a large coat, more than likely my father’s, and started out to Mickey Dee’s.  I’m sure I purchased a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal (including Dr. Pepper), because that is the only thing I ever get at McDonald’s.  I started back, planning to meet my friends at Pizza Hut and eat with them.  It was cold.  I had on denim shorts and a huge jacket.  I had poor posture, which is to say, Quasimodo taught me how to sit in a chair.  As I schlumped past the Pizza Hut, readying myself to cross the street, I was oblivious to the compassionate stares of my friends as they surveyed me walking towards Pizza Hut.  I was later told that the conversation went something like this:

Meaghan: Oh my gosh.  Is that a homeless person?

Jennifer: Oh my gosh.

Terra: Yeah.

Jennifer: Should we give him some food.

Terra: I think he’s got a McDonald’s bag.

Meaghan: Oh yeah.  I see it now.

Jennifer: Wait, he’s coming in here.

Erin: Hey guys.

Terra: Holy crap.  We thought you were a homeless guy.

Meaghan: We almost gave you pizza.

*****

This has been installment 1 of “Awkward Stories from My Childhood.”

February is the month of Drinking Only Water & Taking a Picture Everyday.  I forgot about Drinking Only Water today, so I’ll go one extra day in March.  You can read about Sarah’s Month of Resolutions Idea here.

So, here’s picture 1.  I took this picture because we are trying to Baby Wise the Holls.  Don’t judge.  We feel like it’s the best way to get her to go to sleep on her own.  Anyway, it may be hard on a Mom’s heart to watch the monitor move to the red (that means she’s REALLY angry with us for leaving her), at least I have the peace of mind that she won’t be 16 and still wanting someone to rock her to sleep.

What a fun idea.

I think this exercise says a lot about where we grew up and how we grew up.  So I’m gonna share my songs.  And you share yours.  At least a couple.  Either in a blog post, or in the comments, but I think this will be fun.

Here are a few of mine:

1. I listened to a GREAT DEAL of Caedmon’s Call in high school.  I would’ve drank their bath water.  So they’re on here a few times actually.  In fact, the whole 40 Acres album probably deserves to be on this list, but it’s not a list of albums, it’s a list of songs.  The title song to 40 Acres is the perfect song to play on the last stretch of road to my grandparent’s ranch.  And also, Back Where I Began off that same album reminds me of sitting outside FBC Canyon during the summer, waiting for our parents to pick us up after Wednesday night Priority.  Good times.

2. George Strait’s The Fireman was my little brother’s favorite song, bar none.  He would sing it all the time and knew every word.  My mother even misplaced him in Michael’s one day and tracked him down by following the sound of him singing The Fireman.  Ironically, the Fireman is not about an actual firefighter, but a guy who runs around town making out with hot women.

3. TLC’s Waterfalls.  I distinctly remember this being the last dance at the 8th grade Valentine’s Dance.  I had a boyfriend at this dance, and his little brother was born that night.  In case you were wondering, sadly, this is what I looked like in the 8th grade:

I know.  Could I be more lovely?  Truly, no.

Ok.  I’ve shared some of my home songs.  Your turn.  Don’t let me down.

What Storm Troopers Do on Their Days Off via Wild Ammo.

Just kidding!  With a final count of 11 votes for Baby A & 7 votes for Baby B, I have emerged victorious.  That’s right.  Baby A is me and Baby B is Ben.  I win.

As promised, I went to here and allowed them to choose a number for me.  I had 15 comments, and they selected the number three: My good friend, the Sass.

That’s right.  The Sass.  Sassy Mac.  The Sass-a-nator.  Ole ChiliDawg.  Reesey-Piecey.  The last two I made up.  But whatever.  I wish her nickname was Ole ChiliDawg.  Sarah Mac was born in Jackson, Mississippi to famous song-and-dance duo Bob-n-Kay.  Bob-n-Kay were legendary for the dancing tricks they performed while singing old gospel hymns.  Most extraordinary was the “Plate Trick,” where Bob would take a long, thin stick, balance a spinning plate on top, balance Kay on TOP of the spinning plate, all while singing “Go Tell It on the Mountain” in perfect unison.

Bob-n-Kay hung up their performing hats when little Sarah arrived.  There was talk of adding the wee one to the “Plate Trick,” but ultimately, it was decided that Sarah needed a grounded upbringing, sans being a celebrity baby in world of Gospel song and dance duos.

Sarah was a bright child, always interested in the world around her and curious.  This led to her acceptance and subsequent graduation from MIT at the tender age of 8.  It seemed that despite Bob-n-Kay’s best efforts, Sarah would not live the life of an unknown; she was destined for greater things.

As much as little Sarah excelled in Planetary Sciences (her post doctoral work for MIT included the study of Exo-Solar Planets and Brown Dwarfs), she felt drawn to the field that ultimately brought her parents together.  Eager to add her name to the long and storied roster of plate spinners, she knew the only place that was worthy of such a plate-spinning pedigree as hers was the Chinese National Plate Spinning Troupe.  Torn between her love of country and her deep, heartfelt desire to perform, she hid in a wooden crate being sent to Shenyung, China and relocated to pursue her dreams.  Little Sarah lived in China for four years, learning the mystical art of Chinese Plate Spinning.  You can view a video of Sarah in traditional Chinese costume, spinning plates to the delight of millions here.

After spending some time as an undercover spy for the Intergalactic League of Galaxies, Sarah Mac moved back home to Mississippi.  Yearning for the simple life after years of high-risk shenanagins and balancing plates for audiences, she bought a trailer/hot dog stand, selling hot dogs to the crowds of people who flocked to Mississippi to see the birthplace of Rogue from X-Men.

During that time, Sarah wrote the following works of literature:
Pride & Prejudice, under the pen name Jane Austen
Don Quixote, under the pen name Miguel Cervantes
The Da Vinci Code, under the pen name Dan Brown
Everyone Poops, under the pen name Taro Gomi
The First Two Twilight books, under the pen name Stephanie Meyer

Sarah Mac now serves on the President’s Council for Methane-Produced Oxide & Obesity-Powered Energy Resources (MPOOPER), is a member of Mensa (along with Sharon Stone), and is currently said to be heading the development of a much-anticipated movie project with Ron Howard and Brian Grazer;  Arrested Development: The Movie.

You should check out Sarah’s blog that she keeps with none other than the Berge, That’s What She Said.  There you can learn ever more about the great enigma that is Sassy Mac.

Some people (I won’t say who) might think (are fixated on the fact) that Holls looks more like Ben (they are obviously wrong).  And some people might know that she looks like me.  And I can’t help it that they are right.

I have no idea why I get incredibly offended when people say she looks like Ben.  Clearly, she is half of him, so it stands to reason that she might look at least a little bit like him.  But it irks me.  There is no current research being done on my craziness.

But anyway, deciphering who a baby looks more like is not mere guesswork.  Through the miracle of technology, you can see our own baby pictures and decide for yourself.  And I’m provided you with just that opportunity.  Lucky you.

So, here’s the deal.  Below are two pictures (Picture A and Picture B).  One picture is of Ben, and one is of me; I won’t tell you which (although you will obviously choose me).  Your job is to choose which picture looks more like Holls (Picture C).  Leave a comment with your now highly formed opinion and we’ll see who wins.  I’ll even randomly choose a comment-or and write a post about how awesome they are.  I swear.  Even if they vote against me (which they will obviously not do, since it flies in the face of logic and common sense).

So…what do you think?

This is Picture A. ↑

This is Picture B.  ↑

And here is Picture C.  ↑

And here’s another pic of Holls, closer to the time the other pics were taken (Picture D), just to be sure.  ↑

Ok.  Vote away.

My friend Andy has really been hitting it out of the park with his posts lately.  Check out this cartoon he drew after he had a very interesting conversation with his young daughter.

Did you know that some countries have theme hospitals?  What I know Ruth wouldn’t give to have the twins in a Hello Kitty Maternity Ward.

Sophie Blackall is a New York artist that takes the Missed Connections ads from craigslist and renders them into really beautiful works of art.  She also sells them on her etsy store.

I loved this post from mental floss on the Top Ten Best Secret Menu items.  I want to order them now!

Ok.  Yes.  I am a mental floss junkie.  But this is another cool post.  Artists that take well-known cartoon characters and make them more realistic.  So cool.

Yeah.  That’s right.  CANDIED.  SALTED.  BACON. YOU ARE MOST WELCOME.

It’s cellular mitosis with doughnuts!

I have not tried to make this yet, but my friend Tris’ sister-in-law posted this sweet recipe for making Pumpkin Spice Latte’s at home.  Because I am singlehandedly funding Jill Casey’s benefits at Starbucks.  I love it so so much.

Not only is this video completely and totally fun, for every 10,000 people who view it, the Dude Perfect guys will sponsor one Compassion child.

Cracked.com makes me laugh so hard.  It reminds me of Shane for some reason.  They are like an irreverent mental floss.  This article about 7 Secrets Only Two Living People Know is so interesting, and it’s funny.  Warning: people cuss.

That’s enough for today.  My hope is that one day I’ll be able to post pictures on this blog (ugh) and I can resume normal postings.  Until then…

Anyway, he also writes for his place of business, the McWane Science Center, where he manages space and technology. He’s posted his most recent musing on his personal blog, and it’s great. Check it out.

Leave a comment, and together, maybe we can encourage him to blarg more! Because I need to know more about robots and NASA. And you do too!

This year, we came up with a game called Old Dude & an iPod (what you don’t know about me is that I am an EXCELLENT title maker-upper). This game was inspired by the latter portion of the Gwandy (this is my mom and dad, for those unfamiliar with the vernacular). Dad had received an iPod nano for Christmas and when they came to visit in March, he was just starting to figure it out. While he was here, we put some music on it (Tiny Dancer, Knights in White Satin, the works), and he was super jazzed about it. So much so that he would listen while we were in the car, oblivious to the fact that none of us could hear the music, nor discern what he was singing.

Something to understand about my dad is that he’s an incredibly talented person. He’s a master carpenter, an amazing teacher, and a pretty solid Pops. He is not, however, a good singer. But what he lacks in talent, he makes up for in gusto. He’s also not great with remembering lyrics, althought he really tries. So, when he would sing along with his iPod (headphones on), it was something like:

“Mursha hmm hmm Tiny Dancer! Hmm headlights gojkha yjawert-way! Lay me dern hmmm sheets of hmmm-nen! Herdam mizie hmm today!”

It was rather difficult to figure out what he was singing. So, Old Dude & an iPod works like this: we shot our good friend, Lee, singing some songs he was rather unfamiliar with while wearing headphones. We play the videos at Late Nite and students have to guess what song he’s singing for points.

Lee was a great sport and did a bang up job. Below is my favorite exerpt from Old Dude & an iPod. It’s equally charming and hilarious and I could literally watch it every day.

Old Dude & an iPod – Beyonce from Erin Moon on Vimeo.