Anyway, I had a crush on Sam.  He was older, had a girlfriend, and you can be more than sure that he was not at all interested in me.  He suffered my presence.  But I was convinced that he would fall in love with me and we would be married.  CONVINCED.  In a very creepy way.  I journaled about him.  I wrote him letters I never gave him.  I planned my walking schedule to each class based on where I might see him.  I was a creepy, creepy 6th grader.

The fact that Sam did not love me back was heartbreaking to me.  I neglected my personal appearance (as if it could be more neglected).  I refused to brush my hair.  I walked the halls in a coma, drawing on the walls with my finger.  I kept my head down, looking at my Birkenstocks wondering what I could do to make Sam love me.  I mean, life got weird.

During this time of introspection, I attended a Math and Science Meet for 6th graders.  This is laughable to most, because it for sure took me four tries to pass Algebra 099 in college.  How I got signed up for this trip, I have no idea.  Either way, the trip insured that we would get to eat at either McDonald’s or Pizza Hut.  I was (and still am) a fast food guilty pleasurer, so as the prospect of McDonald’s was, quite frankly, too good of a deal to pass up.  My friends, who had every right to be on this trip, chose Pizza Hut.  Just another in the long line of poor decisions I would make during the course of my young life.

I wore a large coat, more than likely my father’s, and started out to Mickey Dee’s.  I’m sure I purchased a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal (including Dr. Pepper), because that is the only thing I ever get at McDonald’s.  I started back, planning to meet my friends at Pizza Hut and eat with them.  It was cold.  I had on denim shorts and a huge jacket.  I had poor posture, which is to say, Quasimodo taught me how to sit in a chair.  As I schlumped past the Pizza Hut, readying myself to cross the street, I was oblivious to the compassionate stares of my friends as they surveyed me walking towards Pizza Hut.  I was later told that the conversation went something like this:

Meaghan: Oh my gosh.  Is that a homeless person?

Jennifer: Oh my gosh.

Terra: Yeah.

Jennifer: Should we give him some food.

Terra: I think he’s got a McDonald’s bag.

Meaghan: Oh yeah.  I see it now.

Jennifer: Wait, he’s coming in here.

Erin: Hey guys.

Terra: Holy crap.  We thought you were a homeless guy.

Meaghan: We almost gave you pizza.

*****

This has been installment 1 of “Awkward Stories from My Childhood.”

February is the month of Drinking Only Water & Taking a Picture Everyday.  I forgot about Drinking Only Water today, so I’ll go one extra day in March.  You can read about Sarah’s Month of Resolutions Idea here.

So, here’s picture 1.  I took this picture because we are trying to Baby Wise the Holls.  Don’t judge.  We feel like it’s the best way to get her to go to sleep on her own.  Anyway, it may be hard on a Mom’s heart to watch the monitor move to the red (that means she’s REALLY angry with us for leaving her), at least I have the peace of mind that she won’t be 16 and still wanting someone to rock her to sleep.

What a fun idea.

I think this exercise says a lot about where we grew up and how we grew up.  So I’m gonna share my songs.  And you share yours.  At least a couple.  Either in a blog post, or in the comments, but I think this will be fun.

Here are a few of mine:

1. I listened to a GREAT DEAL of Caedmon’s Call in high school.  I would’ve drank their bath water.  So they’re on here a few times actually.  In fact, the whole 40 Acres album probably deserves to be on this list, but it’s not a list of albums, it’s a list of songs.  The title song to 40 Acres is the perfect song to play on the last stretch of road to my grandparent’s ranch.  And also, Back Where I Began off that same album reminds me of sitting outside FBC Canyon during the summer, waiting for our parents to pick us up after Wednesday night Priority.  Good times.

2. George Strait’s The Fireman was my little brother’s favorite song, bar none.  He would sing it all the time and knew every word.  My mother even misplaced him in Michael’s one day and tracked him down by following the sound of him singing The Fireman.  Ironically, the Fireman is not about an actual firefighter, but a guy who runs around town making out with hot women.

3. TLC’s Waterfalls.  I distinctly remember this being the last dance at the 8th grade Valentine’s Dance.  I had a boyfriend at this dance, and his little brother was born that night.  In case you were wondering, sadly, this is what I looked like in the 8th grade:

I know.  Could I be more lovely?  Truly, no.

Ok.  I’ve shared some of my home songs.  Your turn.  Don’t let me down.

What Storm Troopers Do on Their Days Off via Wild Ammo.

Just kidding!  With a final count of 11 votes for Baby A & 7 votes for Baby B, I have emerged victorious.  That’s right.  Baby A is me and Baby B is Ben.  I win.

As promised, I went to here and allowed them to choose a number for me.  I had 15 comments, and they selected the number three: My good friend, the Sass.

That’s right.  The Sass.  Sassy Mac.  The Sass-a-nator.  Ole ChiliDawg.  Reesey-Piecey.  The last two I made up.  But whatever.  I wish her nickname was Ole ChiliDawg.  Sarah Mac was born in Jackson, Mississippi to famous song-and-dance duo Bob-n-Kay.  Bob-n-Kay were legendary for the dancing tricks they performed while singing old gospel hymns.  Most extraordinary was the “Plate Trick,” where Bob would take a long, thin stick, balance a spinning plate on top, balance Kay on TOP of the spinning plate, all while singing “Go Tell It on the Mountain” in perfect unison.

Bob-n-Kay hung up their performing hats when little Sarah arrived.  There was talk of adding the wee one to the “Plate Trick,” but ultimately, it was decided that Sarah needed a grounded upbringing, sans being a celebrity baby in world of Gospel song and dance duos.

Sarah was a bright child, always interested in the world around her and curious.  This led to her acceptance and subsequent graduation from MIT at the tender age of 8.  It seemed that despite Bob-n-Kay’s best efforts, Sarah would not live the life of an unknown; she was destined for greater things.

As much as little Sarah excelled in Planetary Sciences (her post doctoral work for MIT included the study of Exo-Solar Planets and Brown Dwarfs), she felt drawn to the field that ultimately brought her parents together.  Eager to add her name to the long and storied roster of plate spinners, she knew the only place that was worthy of such a plate-spinning pedigree as hers was the Chinese National Plate Spinning Troupe.  Torn between her love of country and her deep, heartfelt desire to perform, she hid in a wooden crate being sent to Shenyung, China and relocated to pursue her dreams.  Little Sarah lived in China for four years, learning the mystical art of Chinese Plate Spinning.  You can view a video of Sarah in traditional Chinese costume, spinning plates to the delight of millions here.

After spending some time as an undercover spy for the Intergalactic League of Galaxies, Sarah Mac moved back home to Mississippi.  Yearning for the simple life after years of high-risk shenanagins and balancing plates for audiences, she bought a trailer/hot dog stand, selling hot dogs to the crowds of people who flocked to Mississippi to see the birthplace of Rogue from X-Men.

During that time, Sarah wrote the following works of literature:
Pride & Prejudice, under the pen name Jane Austen
Don Quixote, under the pen name Miguel Cervantes
The Da Vinci Code, under the pen name Dan Brown
Everyone Poops, under the pen name Taro Gomi
The First Two Twilight books, under the pen name Stephanie Meyer

Sarah Mac now serves on the President’s Council for Methane-Produced Oxide & Obesity-Powered Energy Resources (MPOOPER), is a member of Mensa (along with Sharon Stone), and is currently said to be heading the development of a much-anticipated movie project with Ron Howard and Brian Grazer;  Arrested Development: The Movie.

You should check out Sarah’s blog that she keeps with none other than the Berge, That’s What She Said.  There you can learn ever more about the great enigma that is Sassy Mac.

Some people (I won’t say who) might think (are fixated on the fact) that Holls looks more like Ben (they are obviously wrong).  And some people might know that she looks like me.  And I can’t help it that they are right.

I have no idea why I get incredibly offended when people say she looks like Ben.  Clearly, she is half of him, so it stands to reason that she might look at least a little bit like him.  But it irks me.  There is no current research being done on my craziness.

But anyway, deciphering who a baby looks more like is not mere guesswork.  Through the miracle of technology, you can see our own baby pictures and decide for yourself.  And I’m provided you with just that opportunity.  Lucky you.

So, here’s the deal.  Below are two pictures (Picture A and Picture B).  One picture is of Ben, and one is of me; I won’t tell you which (although you will obviously choose me).  Your job is to choose which picture looks more like Holls (Picture C).  Leave a comment with your now highly formed opinion and we’ll see who wins.  I’ll even randomly choose a comment-or and write a post about how awesome they are.  I swear.  Even if they vote against me (which they will obviously not do, since it flies in the face of logic and common sense).

So…what do you think?

This is Picture A. ↑

This is Picture B.  ↑

And here is Picture C.  ↑

And here’s another pic of Holls, closer to the time the other pics were taken (Picture D), just to be sure.  ↑

Ok.  Vote away.

My friend Andy has really been hitting it out of the park with his posts lately.  Check out this cartoon he drew after he had a very interesting conversation with his young daughter.

Did you know that some countries have theme hospitals?  What I know Ruth wouldn’t give to have the twins in a Hello Kitty Maternity Ward.

Sophie Blackall is a New York artist that takes the Missed Connections ads from craigslist and renders them into really beautiful works of art.  She also sells them on her etsy store.

I loved this post from mental floss on the Top Ten Best Secret Menu items.  I want to order them now!

Ok.  Yes.  I am a mental floss junkie.  But this is another cool post.  Artists that take well-known cartoon characters and make them more realistic.  So cool.

Yeah.  That’s right.  CANDIED.  SALTED.  BACON. YOU ARE MOST WELCOME.

It’s cellular mitosis with doughnuts!

I have not tried to make this yet, but my friend Tris’ sister-in-law posted this sweet recipe for making Pumpkin Spice Latte’s at home.  Because I am singlehandedly funding Jill Casey’s benefits at Starbucks.  I love it so so much.

Not only is this video completely and totally fun, for every 10,000 people who view it, the Dude Perfect guys will sponsor one Compassion child.

Cracked.com makes me laugh so hard.  It reminds me of Shane for some reason.  They are like an irreverent mental floss.  This article about 7 Secrets Only Two Living People Know is so interesting, and it’s funny.  Warning: people cuss.

That’s enough for today.  My hope is that one day I’ll be able to post pictures on this blog (ugh) and I can resume normal postings.  Until then…

Anyway, he also writes for his place of business, the McWane Science Center, where he manages space and technology. He’s posted his most recent musing on his personal blog, and it’s great. Check it out.

Leave a comment, and together, maybe we can encourage him to blarg more! Because I need to know more about robots and NASA. And you do too!

This year, we came up with a game called Old Dude & an iPod (what you don’t know about me is that I am an EXCELLENT title maker-upper). This game was inspired by the latter portion of the Gwandy (this is my mom and dad, for those unfamiliar with the vernacular). Dad had received an iPod nano for Christmas and when they came to visit in March, he was just starting to figure it out. While he was here, we put some music on it (Tiny Dancer, Knights in White Satin, the works), and he was super jazzed about it. So much so that he would listen while we were in the car, oblivious to the fact that none of us could hear the music, nor discern what he was singing.

Something to understand about my dad is that he’s an incredibly talented person. He’s a master carpenter, an amazing teacher, and a pretty solid Pops. He is not, however, a good singer. But what he lacks in talent, he makes up for in gusto. He’s also not great with remembering lyrics, althought he really tries. So, when he would sing along with his iPod (headphones on), it was something like:

“Mursha hmm hmm Tiny Dancer! Hmm headlights gojkha yjawert-way! Lay me dern hmmm sheets of hmmm-nen! Herdam mizie hmm today!”

It was rather difficult to figure out what he was singing. So, Old Dude & an iPod works like this: we shot our good friend, Lee, singing some songs he was rather unfamiliar with while wearing headphones. We play the videos at Late Nite and students have to guess what song he’s singing for points.

Lee was a great sport and did a bang up job. Below is my favorite exerpt from Old Dude & an iPod. It’s equally charming and hilarious and I could literally watch it every day.

Old Dude & an iPod – Beyonce from Erin Moon on Vimeo.

I’m notoriously bad at forming complete ideas in Creative Team, as well as usually being the one to knock us off topic. I had some vague idea for an activity and when Monte pressed me to be more specific, I said something to the effect of, “Can’t the teachers just come up with that part?” Andy remarked (sarcastically, I might add) that this was a great new idea for a Bible Study, just giving general suggestions. Kinsley christened our new idea “Mere Suggestions.” And we decided to have a blog contest to see who could come up with the best lesson for “Mere Suggestions.” Below is my lesson:

Mere Suggestions Bible Study
Lesson 3, John’s Revelation (or something)
Biblical Verse: Just pick a verse in Revelation. A couple of verses if you’re feeling crazy.
Learning Goal:

• Students will learn about stuff

Biblical Context: John hung out with Jesus, but he also lived on an island for some reason. Some stuff happened on the island, and now we know how it’s all gonna go down when Jesus comes back. We want the students to know about that part.

Connect Activity:
Make some crazy stuff or do something crazy. Either one will work. Say: There’s some crazy stuff in this Revelation book, and today, we’re gonna talk about it.

The Key Study:
Read the verse(s) you picked out from Revelation. Maybe you want to ask the students what they think about it. For example, if you chose Revelation 9:5, which reads: “They were not given power to kill them, but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes a man,” then you could ask the students what they think that means, if you want. It’s up to you. Then say: This is pretty kooky, but the important thing to remember is that the good guys win.

Transform:
Have the students write some stuff down while some song plays. If it’s about the verse that you talked about, awesome. If not, no biggie. Then, pray.